2.3.05

Thursday, February 3, 2005

Sometimes, when no one is looking, refugee’s can do crazy things. Like squatting in a bathtub scrubbing your clothes on make-believe rocks, wearing a winter hat inside but not wearing socks, trying to wash dishes without soap, or even lying on the floor clutching at your heart only to be suffering from indigestion. These things seemed funny to me until this evening when I watched Ben download the pictures he took from our last day with them. Alas, I laughed as he captured footage of Father teaching Mama how to ride a bike. You can’t believe this; she was not wearing shoes and there is snow still on the ground, and she was wearing her new robe like a coat! Oh what our neighbors must think! Aren’t we supervising at all?? I think the best part is that Ben saw these errors in judgment, took the pictures and went right back into the house without saying a word.

Honestly, I spent little time with the family today. I was near a break down this morning. I felt incapable of doing anything. I slept for a good part of the morning and then briefly discussed the plan for leaving tomorrow. The family has packed most of their items and it has been stuffed into our garage for departure. Ben took the kids to the gym again today and they played with abandon. He also supervised dinner and we had a guest, John O’Keefe (17 yrs. old) who is a student from Bartlett High school. At the bottom of the diary I have included a thank you letter which he sent to us this evening. John is doing research for a report on educational differences in international settings. I am extremely impressed with this young man. He has courage and is unafraid of looking at reality abroad, something I struggle with. John interviewed Majeni (19 yr old) and asked him many questions about his experience. I don’t know any other person his age that has taken it upon himself personally to discover other cultures with such reckless abandon. I am honored to know him and we all expect huge things for him.

As for me, it was truly a day I would like to get past. Some of you know a little about my situation personally, and I will share that I was suffering greatly from flashbacks this afternoon. It took a great deal of prayer and focus to overcome. Ben was unbelievably helpful in praying for me and encouraging me that things would be alright. I am considerably better this evening, and now I only have the false-guilt of being “unavailable” to overcome. I am who I am. The things I have been through in my life have helped me become who I am, and who can argue that I would want to be anyone else? I love what CCC, Ben, me and my family has accomplished this week. I have no regrets and we have done what we set out to do. We have welcomed another family to America and met incredible people like Colleen, Kevin, Margaret, Rose, Sara, Julie, John, and countless others along the way.

Here is to the start of a new journey!