How much are 3 lives worth?

There is no way I could leave Africa without sharing one more time the devastating affects of poverty.  It is easy for us to look away and not imagination what is really going on in the rest of the world.  After all, we have our own problems and many of us are struggling with a tough economy.  Without wanting to be redundant, American poverty and world poverty are vastly different.

Kasifa Nakatude is a woman that is waiting for sponsorship with our organization.  Her situation could not be more urgent.  Her children Joseph (3) and Sanyu (8 months) are starving.  Her life has been unbearable as she struggles to feed her children and keep them warm.  Each day she digs for someone and gives a small portion of cassava to her babies.  They have never known comfort or fullness.

Her husband has left her because he can not take care of them.  She is being threatened and chased from the mud home that is sheltering her because she is a squatter.  Without sponsorship, she will be homeless and alone without any way to care for Joseph and Sanyu.

Please take a minute and consider if $70 a month is too much to save 3 lives.  Africa Family Rescue can teach Kasifa how to survive and build a future for herself and her children.  Micro business and education can change the trajectory of this family.  Write me today at melody@africafamilyrescue.org and I will get you started on a tax deductible gift.

Life saving sponsorship

I have been asking God what could possibly be the purpose of this illness while I am in Africa.  I definitely have a deeper understanding of the physical trials facing the poor.  But last night I believe I had a break through that I wanted to share.

If you don't know about our program, let me briefly state an African's view of how to overcome poverty.  Years ago an African friend of ours told us that he believed the best way to help people in Africa was as a family unit and through temporary sponsorship that led to a micro business and self reliance.  We have widows and orphans who are currently on the road to self sufficiency in that same manner.  

The thing that always struck me about our sponsored families was the wonder by which they received that sponsorship.  So many African families have tried to express their gratitude to their donors through words, gifts and hugs.  But last night, I was given a deeper understanding of that gratitude.  My illness has taken me on a journey that honestly (without trying to be overly dramatic) has caused me to fear for my life.  Only those closest to me know the severity of the illness and the toll is has taken on my body.  I have been in the hospital 5 times in 6 days.  Even today I slept 22 hours straight.  The fever is still raging in my body as I sweat through layers of sheets.  The amazing thing is that I have been miraculously cared for by several friends or donors in the states.  I have had the care I needed, the medication and all of the necessities I needed for survival.  In short, I have received my own sponsorship.

As a desperately ill woman in a third world country, I can tell you my need was acute.  I would NOT have survived this illness without my donors.  I can now only tell you that the joy of the people that receive sponsorship is more than happiness... it is life saving.  I am a living breathing example of God's grace through sponsorship. 

As you continue to pray for my healing, please also continue to pray for more donors to come forward and offer life to another human being. 

How do people survive like this?

I have only had a taste of life in the village.  Two days ago I stood feverish inside a grass thatched hut alone and the impact of darkness, loneliness and neglect covered me from head to toe.  In that moment, I tried to imagine the thought of being ill here. The heat inside during the midday sun was stifling. My fever began to create a sickening sweat that covered my back and forehead. I struggled to get a full breath while coughing incessantly. All I wanted was water and even though the vehicle was only 20 feet away I didn't know if I could bring myself to go and retrieve it.  Every smell was heightened.  The man who lived in the hut is trapped inside for hours at a time because he is blind.  It is so very dark and the inside diameter is only 6 feet wide.  The mat that I stood on was bamboo and it made a crunching sound when I shifted from being dizzy.  I could smell his body odor and the mattress is holding smells I didn't even want to recognize.  I looked up and saw the grass moving; more wasps that are building nests everywhere are here working their hardest to create another home.  It is beyond my ability to stay one more moment and I leave seeking refuge from my imaginations.

Returning home to the city ill I knew that I needed to see a doctor.  I had no idea if malaria had begun its work in me or something else.  I could barely walk into the clinic.  I laid down on a gurney and heard voices speaking in hushed tones but I could not understand the language at all.  I could hear a definite sense of concern.  Someone was pulling my jacket off to take my temperature under my arm.  Another person pulled down the skin beneath my eye.  To have someone take your blood in a foreign country is very worrisome.  I was wondering if the needles were clean.  But I heard someone else opening a package for me alone.  It put my heart at rest a little.  The nurse left the needle in me for an I.V.  It was not plastic like the ones in the states.  I felt the metal moving around in my vein.

Apparently I had a raging bacterial infection in my lungs: something completely foreign to my body. Third generation and fourth generation antibiotics were injected intravenously twice in a 12 hour period; Steroids too.  I was left to rest in a hostel alone while I insisted Ben continue the work.  Our time here is so short I knew it was necessary.  It was there that I began to worry if I could even survive the walk to the toilet.  The fever was draining me and I could barely eat the bread I had.  There was no electricity.  No way for me to communicate to the people around me or to Ben who was in the village and unreachable.

You may be wondering why I am saying all these details so let me say this: I have never been so keenly aware of the unbearable struggle of normal African life.  If water is a 5 hour walk away, if a doctor is out of the question due to finances,  if medication is not available, if you are an orphan or a widow alone without support - how do people survive at all? I could barely get up to move to the toilet let alone to a water well!

Today I am a little stronger.  I am still exhausted and of course I am expected to be worse off than Africans who are exposed to these germs daily - but I am completely overwhelmed by the difficult situations these people live with daily.  I asked God today, "Lord, why am I all the way here to be this sick"?  There was no audible response and honestly I have felt a little far away from God so I looked to His word to speak to me which said, "I am with you.  I will never leave you."  Today I am choosing to believe that even while I am alone - I am not alone.  It is a fact.  I am sure that many Africans have felt this way and have come up with the same conclusion.  It is the little things God did yesterday that blessed me: I asked for water from someone outside and they brought it. I felt a breeze through the window and I was relieved.  I had a mint to coat my throat.  I had a book I could read to distract myself some.  All of these small things blessed me.  I was grateful even in pain. Maybe this is why Africans are so joyful.  All the little things are blessings.

I feel.... so small

It is customary to greet a church with "Hallelujah!"

So I pretty much feel heavy hearted right now.  I am doing a lot of heavy sighing.  I am trying to put into words something that is somewhat complex because, well let’s face it: I am complex.

We spent all day doing what we do: speaking at church, meeting with individual families, trying to avoid food poisoning because the whole community cooked for us (the pumpkin was good though), fighting against the worst roads, suffering extreme exhaustion and fear of cockroaches (of which continue to plague me), crying over triumphs, laughing over getting lost in the bush and using pit latrines and the last straw – getting bit by mosquitoes without anti-malaria meds as well as no electricity for a hot shower.  I have seen the poorest widows, the blind, lame and countless orphans dance with joy over a meal filled with rice and beans when I myself struggle with a fierce desire for meat… something our Ugandan families never taste until they are over the age of 18 if they have survived that long.  Today I have battled my own demons of having WANTS when those I see here work 12 hours a day for NEEDS: Survival at the top of their list and comfort at the top of mine.

Even when I walked into a store later this evening I cried at the options of 10 crackers when just outside those doors children were starving.  I have SO much to choose from and they just want a chance to live. 

Crying again.  Can’t help it.  I am burdened and reminded that the needs are many… so many.  I need to center myself in God’s sovereignty and remember He is over it all, and trust.  I often quote Mother Teresa when I feel this way, “If you can’t help the world, just help one.”

Help one.  Help one.  Help another one.  Each one is precious in God’s sight.  

 Dancing in church is expected!

 Ummm... ya - like I said, pretty much a problem in the intestinal area!

One of our newer sponsored families! Thank you Hensons! 

This is just not as easy as it looks! 

 Can't even see in the sunshine - Josephine is used to it!

Whenever I speak in church I always tell stories and can't help but walk into the crowd.  

African's LOVE stories but who knows how annoyed they get when I am up close!

Thanks to a wonderful American grandmother - we gave out HAND MADE quilts to Solange and her mother who had NO sheets or mattresses.  They will be warm tonight for the first time in years :)

Hope bigger than fear

We traveled a long way and slept only 4 broken hours during a 30 hour plane journey.  We drove an additional hour to a hostel to drop our luggage and then rested for 2 more.  We then twisted and turned for 3 hours in a car to get to Mukono village.  It was a wonderful day filled with being reunited with widows, orphans and widowers that have been thriving through our family sponsorship program.

Sometimes when faced with absolute destitution and poverty, I think to myself, “What could I possibly do to make a difference here?”  I sometimes struggle to look poverty in the face.  Maybe it is a knee jerk reaction to pain that is visibly over someone.

I especially will not forget the day I met Josephine in 2011 and saw how she struggled to survive in the bush with her children.  Abandoned and neglected she was 8 months pregnant when I last saw her.  Even after one of her precious little ones passed away earlier this year, she never has given up.  She now has a healthy young baby girl named Robina and all of the children are thriving.  I cried like a baby when I saw her (as you can tell)!

Today I remembered the courage of daring to believe that God could use me and others to make a difference.  I saw the fruits of courage and belief in something bigger than myself.  Today I remembered hope.

Josephine gives me a generous gift! Eight beautiful eggs from her chickens!

Nora is a widow waiting for sponsorship for herself and 3 sons.   Her family is still waiting for a chance at new life just like Josephine.  Please consider our 3 year sponsorship program to create self sufficiency.  Contact me at melody@pahlow.com for more details. Today our organization made sure she could remain in her broken down house for 2 months while we trust God for a donor.  

Solange is taking care of her mother in a tiny rented shack. We provided them with much needed food.

Above is a picture of the home we are building for 4 orphans whose mother was killed by their father and left with a tiny bed and kitchen as you see below.  Imagine a 9 year old child caring for 3 other babies in this grim situation!  

Doubting my doubts

There is no doubt I have doubts.  I doubt frequently.  I fear failure.  I fear not being good enough.  I especially get wrapped up in the little things that weigh me down like an albatross.

Yesterday I felt terrified that I wouldn't be able to physically make it home to Uganda because I have been having some hip trouble (threw it out running of course).  I also felt afraid of what would happen once I arrived!  I agonized over the potential of malaria and even the ever present threat of snakes.  Today I worried that my suitcase wouldn't hold enough for the village... and then I realized perhaps I would have to leave my hair mousse behind!  Oh no. That WOULD be a terrible thing, right?

Today a good friend sent me a scripture, but she gave me the wrong reference.  It was a God thing.  Today I read Exodus 33:11-14.  Moses says to the Lord (and I am paraphrasing here): Hey, if you like me so much, can you tell me a little more here so I can trust you?  God replies, "I will go with you and you will be fine".  

Today that is my verse.  I am clinging to that.  God honors faith.  He knows our hearts and the places of great doubt... so that makes me know that of all things, faith is very high on His list.  Despite all my worries I will trust Him; whether I am here or in Uganda.  God says I will be fine. :)

Home for Christmas...

This December, Ruth and her entire family moved into her brand new home.  Please take a few minutes to read her letter of gratitude to her donor Philip.

Look at her new door and windows!!!

Dear Philip

RE: Sincere Gratitude

Praise the Lord so much.  I wish to send you this letter  to express my most sincere gratitude for all you have done for me and my family. I do not know how to tell you about my past, since I have got the good things now, but in the past I had a lot of challenges which you have washed away from me.

Since my childhood I stayed with my mum, our father could not even take care of us which caused our mum to quit her marriage because the father did not care at all. Worse still he was very violent. She could not stand this. She moved to a very small rented house. Her major aim was to make sure that she feeds us so that we do not die. We did not eat to have enough but to survive. We got used to having one simple meal in a day and just sleep on empty stomachs. All the same we appreciated the old woman.  Our mother took care of us in the best way that she could despite the very poor conditions.  We did not even get the chance to go to school.

All my life I had a dream of having a good big house, where I could have a room of my own, which I would make smart and clean. I was not thinking about a cement and glass house. I would have been satisfied with a smaller and less permanent house. Even that one I never got. I kept on dreaming for a house. But that did not happen until now. I had very many years to wait. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to realize my dream. I now have a three bed room house. I have a spacious room of my own and the children have their rooms. I do not know express my joy. When construction was going on I went to the house every day. I moved in and out of every room and I could wonder whether I was dreaming or it was real that this is my house!!!! I couldn’t wait to enter and live in it. Thank you very much for giving me a great house!!!!!!

When I grew up, I got married to a man whom I loved and we started staying together in a rented house.  I knew that since I have got a companion, we shall be well off. My husband and I worked very hard and we saved some money in the house, planning to look for a better place and build a house of our own. I was happy and looked forward to a good life.  After a few years I had 3 children and even I was 7 months pregnant expecting another baby. I was expecting Peter. One day when I came back from work, I found when my husband had taken all our belongings in the house and also the money that we had worked for and saved for a long time, he only left my clothes.  Since then I have never  heard from him or heard of him.

He left me with the kids in the rent house and I suffered with the children. Feeding and dressing the children was hard enough but paying the monthly house rent was the most complicated.  I was in arrears for many months.  When the situation became worse, I went back to my mother’s house with the family after failing to pay a few months rent.  I promised the land Lord to continue paying until when the debts would be paid up. It took me a long time. I started digging in other people’s plantations with my mum in order to get some food to feed the family.  The idea of putting the children in school was unthinkable. The dream of ever having a house of my own was completely dropped.

During those days I gave birth to a baby boy (Peter), by bad lack, the baby was attacked by Tuberculosis ( T.B),  because in my mother’s  small house we were  staying with my brother who is a smoker. We were congested in the small house and I had no help and no alternative. I took Peter for treatment in the many places that I could afford. I tried some hospitals but in those days I had no money. Peter was at the verge of dying. Good luck came when Ben and Melody took my baby to an intensive care unit; this was through the church of Christ in our area. The baby was cured and he gained his life back. He is now healthy and bouncing.

Then miracles came. The first miracle was that I was going to receive a monthly financial support. I was not even sure about who was so generous to give me this income. I knew this would be enough to give me and my children with my mother a descent life with enough to eat.  I was happy and comfortable. I was not thinking about a house yet. But miracles continued flowing.  Latter on I was told that you were going to build a house for me, haaa,  oh myyy, on that day I was the happiest lady of the day. I was like crazy!!!!

The house has been constructed and we have started staying in it. When I am in my room I hear the boys happily chatting in their room. I smile to myself and just thank God. Sometimes I do cry. For sure sometimes I cannot understand how and why you selected me among all the people… It is amazing. So I have a beautiful spacious house and even the toilet and bathroom were built. I thank you so much for that kind of loving heart that you showered to me and my family. Thank you once again for giving us a descent home to live in. It is a wonderful house. May the Almighty God bless you so much.

I wish you a merry Christmas and a Prosperous new year 2013. I wish you more and more blessings to you and your family.

I remain your friend,

Nakangu Ruth

Her new luxury bathroom

This latrine was dug down to 60 feet!

"I almost collapsed"

When Ben and I read this update letter from Josephine, we wept.  I know it will grab your heart!  Special thanks to the Stecker family who willing stepped up to sponsor this precious family.

NAKAMANYA JOSEPHINE M044

Dear Kathy Stecker

Praise God. I would like to thank God who led me to meeting Ben and Melody. I would like first of all to thank Ben and Melody for the great love they showed me when they came to Uganda. You never left me even when you went back in America. You tried all your best to connect my family to the wonderful Kathy Stecker  who is  my friend and supporter. 

It was on the 5^th July 2012, when our AFR case worker came looking for me in the garden where I was working (making potato heaps). I started wondering why she was looking for me but she told me I have good news for you; your family has got a donor. I almost collapsed because of the great joy that I felt. I shouted and laughed and cried at the same time. The next day the account was open for me but unfortunately when we came back from Stanbic Bank, I found my daughter very sick. I did not have any money to take her to the hospital. But I had to get a debt of $4 (Uganda shillings 10,000/=) and take her to the nearest Health Clinic where she was admitted but the sickness got worse. The next day my daughter Nampewo died. When my child died her father was not at home. He came for the burial but he left soon after leaving me alone and the children. I cried.

Ben and I with Pastor Dan and Josephine's family

My married life has been very stressful with my husband leaving home for many months on end saying that he has gone to work for money. But he returns home without any coin only to harass me and make me and the children very unhappy. We do not have big land for me to cultivate enough food for the family. To earn money I would go to the bush, collect some fire wood and sell it to some people at the trading centre. I would then buy some food and other items like soap for the family. It is usually very bad for us whenever I am pregnant. I would then be too weak to carry the fire food. That means that there would be no food at home. We would have just one meal a day at about 3.00pm in the afternoon. At night the children would demand for food which I did not have and then they would cry. I would also cry. Thank you very much Kathy for wiping away our tears!!!

Josephine's oldest when we first met him

Before the regular support you are giving me I have never had regular income. I always get very little money from manual work. I would spend it immediately on the basic needs at home. It was from hand to mouth as they say. What is very frustrating is that my husband never appreciates my hard work and my physical weakness. He is not bothered. I suspect that he has another woman somewhere whom he loves better and feeds.

But I thank God who has strengthened me from all that distress and with your help Kathy you have been of great help. Because now I am debt free, we have food to eat and the older children are now back in school. They had dropped out of school because I had no school fees, no uniform and other scholastic materials. I bought a piglet both to cheer me up and as a project for future income generation. The greatest joy that you have brought to me is that my children are at school and have enough food to eat. We have new Sunday clothes. The joy that we have now is unbelievable. When we are around the fire cooking we talk about you. We just wonder how you can love us this much. We pray that God may bless you more and more.

I send you love and greetings in the name of Jesus.

Yours who loves you very much

JOSEPHINE

If you would like to sponsor a family, we are desperately looking for sponsors for 80 families like this on our waiting list.  Contact melody@africafamilyrescue.org and I can get you started immediately.

Baby Christine

There is no way to write this.  Josephine has suffered another loss.  Last time I met her she was working for pennies, suffering with malaria, had a 104 degree fever and 9 months pregnant.  Today her daughter passed away.  She was only 1 year old.  Baby Christine was tiny and fragile.  She was here briefly and was the apple of her mother's eye. (See my earlier blog at:  http://melodypahlow.blogspot.com/2011/07/had-day-filled-with-hope.html)

I don't have a way of expressing my sadness. I first saw Christine as she was sleeping on a potato sack.  When she woke up I began feeding her crackers which was the first food she had eaten in 3 days.  She was inquisitive and clinging to her mommy. She loved my shiny bracelets and I gave her one.  I can't get the image of her peacefully resting on the ground out of my head.  She is probably buried in that sack now beneath the very ground she played on.

Baby Christine's family was recently sponsored and maybe, just maybe if we had gotten there 1 month earlier her life could have been saved.  I don't know the circumstances but now I only feel regret. Certainly God has a plan and Christine is in a better place.  There is a feeling I have that I am up against a 30 foot crumbling wall of poverty and my hands are just too small to clog all the tiny holes.  Little rocks are falling all around me and I am bracing for a crash.  

For now, another little pebble has fallen at my feet and I am so sad that I couldn't stop it.  Dear God please bring more help quickly so that little girls like Christine have a chance to know you and live a full life.  Amen.

In over my head

We have been at a place of calling out to God and asking him for clarity.  Perhaps you can understand the feeling of waiting on God.  His direction in our life is so necessary.  There are many things we desire to grasp in this lifetime but mostly we walk on a day to day basis looking for purpose and to join God where He is working.

My life has been spent caring for our children and being a housewife.  Almost 21 years now I have given all I have for my biological children. As God drew our family towards Africa, I found myself adopting hundreds of orphaned children and widows.  I told God many times that His calling on my life was too big; that I couldn’t possibly handle the burden.  And I was right.  When I see the faces of children so lost without parents, the women that are burdened with sexual abuse and the starving and ill people that we help I feel absolutely overwhelmed. So sometimes I wonder if the voice in my head is true… am I in over my head? 

This week we received a gift from some dear friends. When I heard about it, I stammered.  I said, “That’s not possible”.  I read and reread the email describing the gift. It wasn’t the amount given so much as it was the confirmation that God was telling me, “Melody, nothing is impossible with me.”  I find myself learning that God is asking me to trust Him in such a huge way in our ministry.  This week God used that gift to show me that He is trust-worthy. 

To that donor, I will thank you from the bottom of my heart for being God’s hands to us while we are the hands to the broken. Children will eat and smile, they will become hopeful but most of all they will know there is a God in heaven who hears their cries and THAT is priceless.  This is God’s burden for His people that we would care for the widow and the orphan.  I am often encouraged by Mother Theresa’s words of advice, “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one”.  So let us all be in over our heads!