I am so tired. We went to the village again today, a new one. We met more families available for potential sponsorship. It would seem redundant to say people are starving. But I guess until you see starvation happening face to face, there is no better word to describe it. Some of the quotes I heard today were:
“I didn’t eat today” (A 12 year old orphan)
“I haven’t eaten meat since sometime last year.” (A pregnant anemic widow)
“We only eat what is cheap to buy, cassava” (A grandma with 2 orphaned grandkids)
On another note, I am being challenged spiritually. God is asking me to give him everything, especially my children. For so long I have struggled trying to create emotionally healthy children. I am beginning to see that I have often limited God’s direction for me based on what they can or can not “handle”. God revealed to me that they are his children… not mine. They need to NEED Him. When I seek to fill them up, there is no emptiness that God can fill.
Today when Nate was hungry in the village and wanted a snack (he had already eaten twice – breakfast and lunch), instead of getting upset and feeling like a failure as a mother… I gave him and his need back to his Father God through prayer. Interestingly enough, he turned to me this evening and told me how sad he was for the kids he met today that had not eaten and were so weak from only eating one vegetable each day. He felt so moved in his heart and I think it was because he FELT hunger, something so foreign to him.
Now this isn’t to say I will abandon the kids, but I am finding there is a time to listen to Lord and ask him to intervene in their hearts. A similar situation happened with Amber last night. I left her with a strong word of rebuke… and usually when I would discuss it for hours with her; I decided to let her deal with it before the Lord. I cried for an hour (and I wasted a whole roll of toilet paper to clean up the mess). But today I sat down next to her in our mosquito filled family room while she played a song I had never heard… a new song (Ps. 40:3). Here are some of the words of the song she wrote and was singing:
I pulled away… but your mercy is new every day… bring back life… bring back light.
Open up my heart and speak these words, “No matter what you say or do, I will love you.”
And so tonight most of my words are not about a village, or a broken family, an abandoned mother or an orphaned child. Tonight I speak about the blessings of obeying God. This mission is not about me, Ben or any of the Pahlow family. This mission is about the God we love and we are privileged to serve in this capacity. I am so amazed that God is giving me the opportunity to meet people who are so in need because I love seeing their faith grow as they are literally rescued from grip of death. I can’t tell you how many people say the word “miracle” when they talk about GFR. And so I need to put credit where credit is due… miracles are God’s thing not mine.
I am putting photos above this blog to show you who you helped today. Through your obedience to God to be generous, you have fed the hungry, clothed the naked and treated the sick. On today’s trip alone we spent a total of $515.00. We spent $412.00 on food, $26.00 on clothes and $77.00 on medical care. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to “go” when you can not. Please! Help us save lives today. Send a check to us at:
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