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Last thoughts?

Our family had “day off” today. We had a great lunch (I had a grilled cheese sandwich) and we swam too. The water was a little cold but I even I got used to it. I felt so relaxed and we didn’t talk once about our work. It is easy when you live life on the field to constantly talk about it. It is hard for me to separate work from myself. But yesterday I was so angry and frustrated that I was reminded to take some time off. It was a sweet break and I actually felt like I was getting to know my husband again… not just my coworker!

When we were driving home from our little oasis, our car passed through the heavily guarded well manicured gate and smack! Poverty was in full swing once again. Sometimes I feel like I will never get used to seeing poverty; Street kids as young as 4 with tattered clothing, no shoes, extended bellies, dirty faces and outstretched hands. The thing that bothers me is how people keep walking and driving right past them; even myself. I always smile and wave but I can rarely get my hands into my purse quick enough for a few coins. Today I saw one little boy who had the biggest smile I had ever seen. He must have been 8 or so. All his teeth were spaced widely apart and he waved enthusiastically as we passed. I feel angry that I didn’t do anything more than wave.

It is hard to understand the extreme differences between America and Africa. Like for instance the fact that people eat messy open fruit (papaya mostly) while they are walking down a dirty road covered in filth and crammed by cars with black exhaust filling the air. They seem not to notice how grimy their hands are or whether they can actually taste anything except smog. There is also the difference of expectations. No one really expects to live very long. They have lots of kids so that they have a better chance of being supported well when they are aged (in their 40s and 50s). Doctors are scarce (1 for 30,000 women) so even the expectation of any real medicine (they use a lot of home remedies) is out of the question. I remember a friend of mine telling me that she found a little girl who was burned on 50% of her body and her mother took her to a local witch doctor who applied rabbit fur all over her bubbled flesh. That is the kind of care impoverished people can expect. A woman can expect 1 in 4 children to die at birth and another 1 will die by age 5. These people live with the expectation of death so anything like a good meal and a new shirt feels like a slice of heaven. Funny what my heaven feels like in comparison to theirs. I have so much... and they have so little. I have choices… they don’t. I can’t help but wonder why I am in a place of affluence and they are not. It doesn’t feel fair.

Anyway, we are leaving on Saturday morning. It is 3 days away. But even though we are going, we hope to bring a little light into this place soon. Families are getting photographed now and I know that even though we have explained what we do thoroughly, they have NO clue how their lives are about to change. We have meetings for the next 3 days and I don’t know if I will be able to blog again before I am home. As much as I long for home, a piece of me is always in this place, my thoughts. I don’t ever want to forget how blessed I am…ever.

At the lodge

This is the last time I felt clean. We had hot showers at the safari lodge in Murchisson and things didn't get gritty until we were in the park. There was even a pool for the kids to swim in!

5 days and counting

Last week Kathy Smith told me that she only felt clean for 5 minutes each day… when she was standing in the shower. I laughed so loud at that because that is SO true! Here in Africa, even though you take a shower, dirt seems to permeate all the crevices of the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen, the car, and even your body. I can’t blow dry my hair or use a straightening iron because there is not enough power for it. My clothes are cleaned and hung up to dry so they often have a lot of wrinkles. Even the water I wash with can’t be swallowed because it may carry parasites. I can’t feel clean…

Kathy wrote me an email from the London airport and said she swallowed tap water and opened her mouth in the shower. She even brushed her teeth with it! I can guarantee you there was electricity! These are the things that are so easy to take for granted in the states. Even now our house is without power. I am typing on the computer with what battery I have left.

Working overseas has increased my patience ten fold. It has also kept me grounded in unexpected ways. I don’t seem to “need” as much as I used to. I don’t seem to mind if I am not perfectly coifed. I can usually even settle with cold showers. One thing I don’t seem to do well without is the internet. When the power goes out… so does the internet. I get frustrated not being able to connect to my friends. It keeps our family going to have emails and love notes of encouragement. I can’t imagine what being a missionary even 20 years ago was like without connecting to your loved ones regularly!

I am leaving in 5 days. We have so much to finish up. The kids are getting excited to see their friends. I am excited to see my friends too… as long as they are at Chipotle!

The team left two days ago and I know that they are probably taking in their first sense of home. I remember the smell of my home when I returned last year and how I cried as I walked in. It is great to come home to the familiar. But I know I will miss Africa and will be excited to come again. I know we have accomplished so much this trip and I am curious to see how Uganda will appear different after one year of GFR sponsorships!

Pics on the Nile Ferry

This photo was taken near the bottom of Murchisson Falls.
































This was my favorite pic today. The Nile crocs covered a whole beach. Many were swimming and I kept thinking that we were too close! 35 feet at the most!

Safari Pics

Murchisson Falls - The Nile feeds into it.

















One of the 40 elephants we saw. This one was 20 yards away.

Our family in front giraffes. The Nile is also in the background.

















This is the first time I saw a wild lion. We interrupted her hunting 3 warthogs. We were only 10 feet away. She was so beautiful and terrible at the same time.


















This is my own photo. I had the urge to shoot the Nile at sunset. It is equally as captivating in the early dawn as well.

The Nile...

I don’t want to talk about the great safari we had today. I will show some pictures that speak volumes. I want to talk about Murchison Falls. We visited that today as well and there is no way to fully describe it so I will put up more photos.

What I want to talk about is how I am feeling about Africa. I have been focusing on one or two countries for the last few years but I sensed something greater today as we were traveling through the park today. Sure it was an cool sensation to travel through acres of wildlife. Some were so close that I could almost touch them. But what struck me the most today was the Nile River.

Today I reached my hand down into the Nile and brought my fingers to my mouth and tasted it. I don’t know what got into me. I was standing on the brink of the rushing, boiling water and I reached my fingers in against the tide. It was warm and fresh. Not salty or dirty as I expected. I guess I was thinking about the source of all life coming from the water on those banks. I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to know what my ancestors have seen… the wonder of the Nile. I wanted to feel the power that cuts through rocks and growls through the mountains here.

I can’t explain it as I want to. In Uganda is the source of the Nile. I have actually seen that place too. It is indescipt without any major fanfare. It is a slow moving stream that grows steadily with time. So many little streams lead into the Falls I visited. The Nile is a beautiful place of power and at the same time a place of serenity. Every where I traveled today, somewhere in the background I could see the result of the Falls, a calm river flowing through an oasis. Only this oasis was as big as a country! As far as my eyes could see there was green flowing grass and large trees spotting the countryside. I could see the mountains of the Congo and I still saw no break in the perfection.

I wonder what it was like for David Livingston or any of the explorers that came here. Did they admire the land as I did today? Did they comprehend the richness of the Nile too? Which of my ancestors reached into the Nile as I did and gasped at its wonder? All these questions and more swam through my mind as we traveled with a glorious sunset behind us. As I pondered these things, Hope sat down on my lap and leaned her head into my hands. I looked up and saw the Nile twisting through every inch of the needy landscape and felt a powerful surge of emotion as I realized that she looks to me as Africa looks to the Nile. We all hold lives in our hands each day; whether by words or actions. The question is whether or not there is a source inside of us that is flowing into others just like the Nile. I will never forget this day and what the Nile means to me. What an amazing experience.

Home?

I am finding it hard to express what I am experiencing here. Hunger… too simple a word. Exhaustion… too common a word. Homesick…where do I belong anyway? I am already thinking how I will be able to establish a normal life in America. I don’t know how to fit in. The things I have seen no one can imagine.

Baby Brenda’s eyelashes haunt me. Will she die? And Cissy… will she feel lonely? She asked me not to leave her. What can I do? And so many other faces penetrate my dreams. I don’t know how to bury my thoughts so I can sleep. Part of me wants to be ignorant; maybe go back to a nice 9 to 5 job. I can’t.

And so I think of them again… I am planning for their futures. I am thinking about how to help them succeed. I am wishing them life instead of death.

Crying for joy

Sylvia gave everything she had and the mom knelt down in shock and reverence. She received it so beautifully. I have never felt so overwhelmed by emotion. What a wonderful experience to see the poor have justice and hope.

Wiping my tears we start telling her the good news... hope is on the way.

Mommy is so happy and even though we don't speak the same language our laughs and smiles of joy tell the whole story.

Doctor Mark and Kevin find a family or two!

These are Mark's families. Two boys orphaned and now they have new families.

Nearly the same age. Kevin and his Ugandan family!

Billy and Lisa... Their hearts broke

Billy and Lisa saw her and loved her before they knew she was on the list. An abandoned young mother.

Melody introducing Billy.

Lisa took this photo before they were introduced. She was very moved by her situation.

Silvia finds a family!

Sylvia saw this family and instantly said, "THIS IS MY FAMILY!"

Sylvia is a natural!

The best picture!

Sylvia prayed for her family. She emptied out her wallet and her backpack. Sylvia gives her all.

Angie wanted both families

This family has two moms. The husband of both died. Angie wants both!

Angie meet the first mom

Angie meets the second mom

One mother lost a 5 year old son. He is buried here. She mourns even now.

Mike, Billy and Elton make a cross

Mike grieves

Dan's new family

Dan with his new sponsored family (This Grandma is caring for AIDS orphans)

Here is Lisa helping clothe a little girl that is related to Dan's family

5 minute breather

I cried today. I laughed today. I slept and I ate today. It was a good day. There are so many wonderful things about having a team here. I feel like I can relate to something; the tears, the shock, the smiles, the anger, and the joy. There is so much to concentrate on and take in when you are here. These are the thoughts I had during only 5 minutes of our 480 minute day:

I see red soil and smell garbage burning. I feel the sun on my neck… it burns me. I try to step out of the burning heat and into the shade of a tree. I am seeking solitude and I focus my breathing. I hear others speaking but refocus on the lush scenery. I glance down the long walking path ahead of me and try to imagine what lies around the bend. Suddenly I see a few people walking slowly towards me with sticks and vegetables on their heads and I step out of shade to investigate. There is a mother, a daughter and following last is a son. He is limping and sweating as he carries the heaviest burden. I duck my head and smile. He smiles from underneath the mound of unharvested beans atop his dark head. Who might he be in my world? Not a lame farmer but perhaps a healed boy playing soccer and going to school. I know his life expectancy is 35. He will be middle aged in 7 more years. I am thinking, “Will he suffer in his short life”? Yes… that is the answer. He will suffer something tragic… perhaps many tragedies. But he will also experience joy; simple and pure. There is nothing for him to do but love his family and survive. And so the boy I saw will one day become a man that perhaps will reflect on the one day he witnessed a mzungu in the village who took time to say hello. What else will come down the walking path I see? Wait… wasn’t I trying to refocus!?

My Man... He is Awesome.

Ben found this little boy under his legs and immediately started giving him a drink. Isn't this a great pic??

Here is a pic of Ben and Mike getting ready to knock down Cissy's house. Mike LOVED having a reason to use an axe!

Sylvia... Priceless Prayer Warrior!

Sylvia loved Cissy so much... Cissy said, "OH YOU HAVE SUCH NICE SKIN!"

Sylvia and Angie are inseparable. They are always smiling and laughing!

Sylvia is never afraid to get dirty.

Sylvia is a woman with purpose. She is driven and wants to follow God wherever He leads her. She is ready and able!

JJ... A tender side I didn't expect

Two great smiles! JJ met Brenda the moment he got off the bus.

What I expected from JJ... man power.

I can't get this picture out of my head. JJ told Cissy that he would sponsor her and she melted. He cares so much for this family already that it is palpable.

JJ sits with Brenda and he watches Cissy open up the gift he gave her from himself and his wife Sara. Cissy loved the lotions... but she loved the photo most. Even though she couldn't see it, it is her prized possession. Brenda is Cissy's daughter and they have a great connection.

Audra.. new and fun arrival

Audra is fun and loving. She lives in Houston and has been living in Uganda for 2 months. We brought her along with us and she was a fantastic addition!

Audra is so much fun. WE LOVE YOU AUDRA!

Kathy... beautiful heart

This woman can work! She chucks bricks like no one else!

Kathy is a Hospice worker and she can smell death and still ignore it. She exudes love and generosity. It is a pleasure to have her on our team.

Kathy decided to sponsor Nakalula's family. Thank you Kathy!

This is the perfect picture of Kathy. SHE LOVES LOVE! She gives it like a gift. BEAUTIFUL HEART!

Lisa... a miracle worker!

This is the only picture I have of Lisa today because she was busy taking 891 photos. MAN! We were glad to have her today. Lisa is easy going and very understanding. She is what every organization hopes to find in a short termer! THANKS LISA!

Billy... this guy is hilarious!

A rare glimpse at the TRUE Billy

Ok - this is adorable!

Billy is a software engineer and has a computer attached to him almost all day... but he can hall bricks too! Billy is funny and inquisitive but he is also very caring. We love him!