My heart feels so full tonight. I feel like I usually do after coming home from church on Sunday morning. We had worship time tonight and sang almost every song in Rick Guzman’s song book. He says he only plays four chords… but it sounded like heaven to me. We all sang together and Rick led us in some scriptures.
Then Scott Strand opened up to the group about a very moving experience he had today. After speaking a female teacher for a few minutes, she leaned over to him and asked, “Would you take my child to America?” The young woman was desperate to see her child in a better place. This is the intense anxiety of the living in the village.
This afternoon however, I found myself very homesick and I began envisioning myself driving to Panera Bread for a bowl of soup…. This was after our visit to two small primary schools. On the way home, I was disassociating with every person I came across. I felt overloaded by the needs facing the teachers and the students; 752 students and only 9 teachers, 1000 students and 12 teachers, no clean water anywhere near the schools, children falling asleep at their desks because they have not eaten food, 66 children with 1 school book to teach English, no maps or other teaching resources, poorly paid staff and holes the size of softballs in the roof, etc. It was beyond my capability of processing. I feel so pushed to my limits of energy and strength and there are so many more needs to satisfy. I found myself praying that I would see only land on the way home.
But tonight after dinner, I was so blessed to worship God through singing. We sang the song which says, “You are a fountain for the thirsty”… My heart was mended by those words. This is our God… the comfort in our sadness, the rest for the weary. He is all that I can never be and I am so grateful to know that I fall short but He never will! He is my Jehovah Jihra, my provider… and He is the same to a little Rwandese School in small village called Bunyana.
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