Where is my house!?!

We made it. All six of us are here WITH all 18 bags of luggage. It was a relief for me to be on the last plane from Nairobi to Kigali. I felt so irritable by then. All of the kids had done so well on the journey… it was a shock for me to have Amber break down while we were flying into Rwanda. I didn’t expect it at that moment. It seemed the epitome of the whole journey, but for her it was the realization that this was definitely NOT home. I was not unaware that the kids might be cranky or tearful perhaps but the panic she experienced was definitely overwhelming to her and me. She couldn’t breathe, wanted to throw up and generally just couldn’t talk.

There are different ways anyone can react to a new environment; she and I have similar reactions. When I had time to look back tonight on my earliest response to Rwanda, I too remember feeling like I could not get a full breath. I wanted to go home… desperately. I paced back and forth in our hotel room saying “I want to go home” over and over and hoping to make it come true because I was so afraid.

Amber told me that she looked out of the window of the airplane and saw red dirt roads and shiny tin roofs. She kept trying to imagine seeing our house in Romeoville… but there was nothing but unfamiliar scenery. It just was too much for her after 48 hours and only 7 hours of sleep. She just wanted to be “home”.

I can’t say I feel the same way as I did in that little cramped hotel room almost 3 years ago. This place has become home to me in some ways. Of course, it has taken me 2 years to get used to the idea. I whispered something to Amber today while I held her, “Amber, wherever I am with you, that is home.” She lifted her watery blue eyes to me and said, “Mommy, I love you” and she began to cry.

That reminds me of how God spoke to me when I was so afraid. He used a verse in John which talks about how he goes before me and was waiting for me here. Now, I am teaching Amber the same lesson. Wherever God calls us, we can call it home because he is there. Along with that, after Amber slept for 5 straight hours this afternoon, we ate some chocolate and felt so much better! It seemed as though Amber was getting more accustomed to life as a missionary, but it is no easy thing for her. Please pray for her and all the kids to continue to adjust well.

Our house is wonderful and we had a hot meal tonight so we are off to bed. This is a home we are learning to love and accept. Check out Amber's blog which I have linked to my front page!

God bless,

Melody