Today I woke up a tourist. I refused any thoughts of work (which is always coursing through my brain). I slept in and hugged my velvety red blanket and pretended it was Magic (our dog). I drank a coke for breakfast. I didn’t see the team off for the day. I just hung in my own room until I was sure I would see no one.
I even took the children to the pool today. Even though we were with Travis and Astrid, I said outloud, “Think of me as a tourist today!” I bought lunch for the kids at the Novetel. Normally we would pack snacks and lunch to bring…. but I decided I would relax today. It was wonderful to drink Coke and eat some penne pasta. Amber and I even watched a DVD in the shade of a huge palm tree. It was “Two Weeks Notice” with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. I imagined myself in a movie theater back home.
I noticed for the first time the smell of the chlorine in the pool (something I definitely would have done on vacation), and the trees here are amazing. There are palm trees situated right across from fir trees of some kind. There are certain ones that look like large magnolia trees. Flowering bushes and beautiful several blooms I have never seen before. Even the concrete surrounding the pool I have never noticed before.
I really took time enjoying little things today. I even ordered chocolate ice cream! It was SOOOOO good. Part of me feels so disoriented here. I feel like I am reconnected to humanity. That sounds so silly really. Certainly we are all humans here! But life is so different that the shock of it all overcame me. I feel like more of the human I was before I arrived here.
3:13 a.m. on 6/16/06
Ok… total Satanic attack. I woke up with my heart pounding in my chest. It isn’t a coincidence to me that I would have a nightmare like the one I just had after the relaxing day I had. In my dream, Amber had lifeless eyes like those of the women. In the dream she told me how she had been gang raped. I won’t go into details. But I woke up and felt the pressure of a nation of women bearing down on me. Actually, it was the oppression of something evil and violent. I have two words, lust and fear. I believe those are two of the major things women deal with here each day.
I prayed over my girls as I awoke in darkness and I began walking towards their room, fear gripping each labored step. All the while I claimed the blood of Jesus over them. I prayed out loud… but mostly the word that kept coming out of my throat was “Jesus”.
It got worse as I looked outside of their room… the darkness clinging to the red brick wall surrounding our compound. I began to feel the fear of darkness and night. My prayers became large scale as I realized that the spiritual forces of evil were working hard to dismantle one of the most beautiful things about this country… the innocence of young women and children. There is so little innocence left…
I read verses yesterday that I am now claiming over the nation of Rwanda tonight.
II Samuel 22:29-30 “O Lord, you are a lamp. The Lord lights up the darkness. In God’s strength we crush armies. With our God, we can scale any wall.”
Jesus, in your name I come against the evil forces working in Rwanda. Protect the women and children and light up the darkness. Crush the enemy Lord… we claim your promise tonight that we can scale any wall. Amen.
1 comment:
Dearest Melody:
Look at the words I wrote in your bible. Psalm 119 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Remember the story I told you about that. In the ancient times there were no street lights and people actually tied lamps around their ankles so that they could have light as they walked in the darkness.
In our times of darkness Jesus is that Light and I pray tonight that you feel His love and protection as you petition to Him.
About an hour ago I had an anxiety attack and it turns out it was the same moment you awoke in your nightmare.
I love you,
Ruth
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