Things to process today:
- Being home in Bunyana church
- Listening to Tim preach a beautiful message about God’s love
- Seeing more than 25 disabled and handicapped people without medical care
- Watching flies gather in the mouths of tiny babies
- Over 500 starving children sweating in line for an hour to receive a balloon
- Watching Brian consider how to organize hundreds of people into that line
- A young father’s written letter begging for help to survive
- People wearing nothing but torn rags
- Giving desperate hungry people soap when they obviously need food
- Looking at the crevices in the calloused hands of old women begging for soap
- The feelings of anger at young men pushing mothers in the “soap” line
- The feelings of guilt for ANY anger I feel towards these people
- Six hours fearing that I would fall off a cliff or my butt would be bruised as we were driving
I can’t even believe what happened today. We drove so far to get to church this morning. And then we were welcomed into the church at Bunyana. It was strange and yet familiar. The smells were the same, sharp and musky. The dirt and rocks outside the small mud building had more erosion than I remember. The pastor was a quiet young man I had never met. Instead of hearing the traditional drums, my ears were bombarded with the sound of an electric keyboard that echoed a cutting snare sound (which was hooked up to a car battery). People were everywhere, not only Bunyana church people, but villages of people looking for relief. This was no ordinary church service; it was intended to impress an organization in a down-home kind of way.
It saddened me actually. I was expecting the quaint little group I had met last year and I guess I should not have been surprised that word travels in these small villages. The part I liked the best was Tim speaking. There was a piece of me that felt like I was home again. There is something so comforting about the familiar. Tim’s voice was a comfort. In addition, I asked Ndugu if he could ask the church to sing acapela for us and he relayed the message. They obliged and it was a beautiful thing to hear their strong high voices singing in harmony. I cried and felt truly grateful for the simplicity of the church I knew.
We had planned a children’s activity day which included stations for bubble blowing, PlayDoh, soccer, Frisbees, bead stringing, etc. When church concluded, the crowds had grown to overflowing capacity and it was not conducive to stay at the church. We slowly made our way to the car and drove to a nearby school. Even this was overwhelming because looking behind us we watched in rapt amazement as an exodus was occurring before our very eyes. Hundreds of people were following us.
Needless to say, it took almost an hour to decide how we would proceed. There was no way that we could have any “group” activity, the crowd was just too big. At its peak, we think it was somewhere in the 700 people range. 700 people?! What should we do with 700 people?
These people are not the kind that will stand in line for food or water for hours. Bunyana village is so poor and needy, they will stand in a line for a small bar of soap or a balloon. I can’t justify what happened today in my mind. I was angry and frustrated at the inability to connect with a few people amidst the chaos. Instead I felt like I was in a check out line scanning groceries in the self check out. You have one, check! You have one, check! The line went on and on.
The most difficult part is that so many have real physical needs. I mean, there were kids with sores on their heads and mouths, broken bones, a 7 x 7 inch tumor/growth on the side of a boy’s face, nearly everyone is malnourished especially young children, crippled men and women, so many that I am sure have AIDS and those are just some of the sights I took in.
And then to just jump in a car and drive back to a comfortable home with hot food waiting on the table and an ice cold bottle of Coke which I drank through a straw while I was standing in a hot shower (don’t ask how I accomplished that). It just doesn’t add up in my mind.
We were talking about this at the dinner table tonight and I heard Jake say something that struck a cord with me. With downcast eyes he said, “My spirit was willing today but my flesh was weak.” And then Tim said smiling, “I felt energized today.” (Secretly I wanted to choke him!) But actually, I really related to that statement also because this whole week has been very exciting for me as we met with the families. However, the overwhelming crowd pressing in just sucked me dry and I felt like I was floundering physically, emotionally and spiritually. As Ben said earlier, “Thank God for fresh legs”!
I am praying for energy for tomorrow. And God’s word promises that His mercy is new every morning. Now I am praying for the faith to trust Him again. I think that TRUST seems to be the main focus of most of my diaries lately. Haven’t I learned that yet??
Love you and miss you,
Melody, Ben and Team
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