There are fingerprints all over our truck right now, even the back window. The red dust from the soil billows up as our 4 x 4 travels through the remote parts of Byumba. It is actually how the villagers determine when to start their one or two hour walk to meet us. The dirt rises over the mountains as a message of the visiting "Mazungu" (white men). I feel like I am in some epic movie discovering the ways of the ancient. Smoke signals, walking barefoot for miles, farming by hand, no running water or electricity, cooking with firewood, and I will also add the honor of the elder men and women.
It was today that it hit me…we are so distanced from the past. We have shoes, roads, cell phones, hot showers, ovens, machines for everything from cutting the grass to charging batteries and lastly no respect for the elderly. There are so many things I am learning from these people. They seem to be backward. To say it is a cultural shock to be in their presence is an understatement. And I have always realized that in our progress we have lost touch with certain aspects of "community". But truly…do we know what we are missing?? I can’t go into these homes and villages without studying their behaviors and interests in regards to one another. There is never a time that it is inappropriate to hold hands with your friends and relatives. Kisses and hugs flow freely. Even the men walk hand in hand for miles deeply connected in heart and soul. What have we lost?
At approximately 1:00 p.m. after I had already met with over 8 sponsored families for interviews, I had the pleasure of meeting with a precious Muze (Pronouned MUZAY - Elder man: Has gray hair and is generally over 45 years of age, most likely has grandchildren, etc.) His name is Laurent. He is actually 66 years old and you will be amazed to hear that he has 7 children and the youngest is 10. The Muze limped into the house we were borrowing for our meetings with four of his seven "abana". He carefully rested his cane against his leg. He often wiped his eyes with his right hand and would squeeze the bridge of his nose while closing his eyes before he would speak. In his interview, we asked him many questions about his family. How was he doing? What kind of changes have happened to him since he received sponsorship? Honestly, I can remember very few of his direct answers. I was too caught up in his unguarded reactions to our inquiry and presence. He was so deeply moved by the ongoing monthly care that he often had tears running down his face. During various questions he would answer them slowly doing little to regain emotional stability. After looking over the notes that Angela took, I can remember that he still cultivates his own land himself. He grows and harvests beans. He has one goat. He also rents the land that he is farming. His daughter Patrice just had a baby yesterday. But mostly I recall him telling us that the help that has come was "chanay-chanay" (too much, just too much). His dark skin is wrinkled around his neck and forehead and his eyes are yellow from years of hunger. He has few teeth and you can barely hear his cracking voice. But I hardly noticed any of those things when the Muze began to cry. He was more than grateful; it was like his life had started over. He was the real deal. What blew his mind was the fact the Burt and Edna Slater were his family’s sponsor. Burt is one of Ben’s dearest friends. As a gift to Laurent, Burt gave a photo album of some pictures of himself and his family. When Ben told Muze that Grandpa Burt was 80, he leaned over and covered his tear-filled eyes with his weathered hands while saying "It is just too much!."
There were so many amazing stories shared with us today but I was mostly moved by those with various handicaps from blindness, old age, maimed limbs and twisted feet. These people were looked after with care by the family and village that surrounded them. For instance, one blind woman was brought into the house by her oldest child (around 15). He had helped her walk through the forest for over 2 hours in order to meet with us. She was so excited to be there. She even pulled out a letter from her head dress that her sponsor had written with the picture they sent though she herself could not see it. I assumed that the young man would be annoyed with her needs (after all, he is the man of the house with all the responsibilities and can not attend school in order to care for the farm and cooking, etc). However, I found it to be quite the opposite. The boy was thrilled to bring her to us. He anticipated all of her moves by leading her up the stairs and into a chair. His smile and spirit were totally disarming. He was just an unexpected delight.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I am seeing a way of life here that I find alluring. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t ever want to be without a nearby Jewel! Convenience (as well as chocolate) is far too important to me! But I love the way these people assume their roles without feeling robbed or disappointed in their life. They are who they are and they make more than just the best of it. They embrace their role of nurturing. It is a piece of my "culture" I feel is lost.
I have also been thoroughly enjoying the reaction of our team to the villagers. Jake spent hours outside with the children today playing soccer. There were so many kids that would just gather around him when he would sit on the ground. One boy sat right next to him and imitated the WAY he sat. Jake just looked at him with that "I know what you are doing" look and the little boy just turned his head as if he didn’t understand. But the whole group laughed. Jake has a fantastic way of communicating without words. Kids flock to him. Angela has spent a good amount of time hugging everyone she meets. She says smells don’t bother her anymore. And believe me, she has hugged enough people to get her fill! Her smile and warmth transcends all cultural bounds and she has a gift for loving everyone without judgment. It is inspirational. Kim has been the most famous of us all. People of all ages, but especially children, find her demeanor very safe (and usually they are very frightened of the first white person they meet!). She takes their pictures and then shows them the results on her digital camera. They usually scream in some way with their hands on their mouths. How did they get in that machine? They line up to see her and are full of smiles and laughter as they watch the others take a turn. And then there is Ben. Ben spends his time flitting from activity to activity trying to take in every possible detail. Even though Kim spends time doing the documenting part of the trip, Ben makes sure that everyone including Kim is photographed. He cares for all of us by insuring our safety and comfort. But mostly, he just likes to play DJ on the long trips into the villages.
None of my children had been in direct contact with me since Sunday and I must say that I was finding that difficult. The difficulties of the internet, our cell phone being out of range and the various changes in their schedules keep getting in the way. However, just as we had exhausted our internet attempts to reach the kids, we prayed, and as Ben picked up our cell phone, it rang...IT WAS AMBER, our oldest daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!
Tomorrow we may be visiting the AIDS doctor from Chicago. I hope to find some help for the families directly affected. I hope I sleep better tonight. Last night I had nightmares about men with machete’s standing outside our window! Yikes.
Love and blessings,
Melody and Ben
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