I can do all things

Tonight I hit a milestone... I ran 4 miles. I didn't think it was possible. I really didn't... When Ben got home from boot camp 20 years ago he took me on a run and I literally pooped out at 1 block! And I was 21 years old... in the prime of my life!

I feel really good about it. But as I was driving home I realized that I was quite somber instead of celebratory. I tried to pin point why I was feeling so serious. It came to me that I had prayed for God to help me through the last mile. Actually, it was the hardest thing I have done in a really long time. My legs felt like they were on fire but I just kept saying, "God please help me, please help me finish".

It reminded me of all the times in life that I said, "I can't do this". There are many times that my mind tells me to just give up. I can't even count how much I hear the word "failure" throughout my day. I don't know if I am just abnormally sensitive but I definitely feel a sense of dread when I have to face difficult things. Struggle is part of life but I think I have expected it to come easier. Somehow I thought if I just did the right things, prayed, went to church and said, "I love you" to my family everyday that life would just be a bowl of cherries. Boy, I was wrong.

Life is painful sometimes... sometimes it feels like I can't go on. Sometimes it feels like I want to run and hide. But tonight God showed me something amazing. He showed me that he could help me endure something I didn't think was possible. It was that moment in the quiet of the car that I realized God was saying, "You can do all things through Me because I strengthen you." It is true. Well, at least it is truer now than it was yesterday. I can do more than I thought possible.