Re-entry

We got home 2 days ago and I am still sick. It is 5:00 am and my throat is in too much pain to sleep. I think I will go to the doctor today.

I am having a hard time adjusting to how wealthy everything is here. From the size of the tomatoes to the painted walls, it all spells money. I can’t believe how much we are blessed. I forgot how everything here is so huge… stores, burritos, cars. It is excessive. I don’t know how to make sense of the fact that being born here means I will never go hungry. At the same time that I embrace home, I am also feeling detached. It is a privilege that I have running water, but I am affluent to have clean running water. It is a privilege to be an educated woman, but I am also an educated woman who can influence a country through my words and actions… that is affluence.

Can I fully grasp my lessings? Can I fully understand how lucky my daughters are to grow up here and have the ability to choose their own destiny as I do? I am stunned by my blessings and I am frustrated by them as well. What if I was born in Uganda without hope of education, orphaned by AIDS, caring for my children by selling myself for food, eating one vegetable a day? Could I survive? Would you?

I can’t believe that I can sit in my house without a mosquito chewing on me… it feels so strange to not be slapping at my ankles constantly. And I feel amazed that I only have to wait 2 hours to go to a doctor that will cure me almost instantly. I am not worried about contracting malaria, elephantitis, leprosy, syphilis, or typhoid. I also have lots of food in my pantry and electricity to cook it. I am overwhelmed in gratitude and at the same time heart sick for the world. It is all part of re-entry; crying and decreased appetite. I am experiencing reverse culture shock again this year. I wonder how long it will take to adjust.

I can’t wait to attend church on Sunday. I have missed it so much. My friends from Community Christian Church put food in my refrigerator before I came home. They also left cards and little gifts for me. Home is not just a place, it is relationships. Thank you everyone for the wonderful welcome.