My Trophy's

Today is Sunday… God’s day in Rwanda. And believe me when I tell you this, they take it seriously. We went to an outdoor church service and there were about 400 people present. We used to be able to squeeze into the little dirt floor building, but now, we meet outside under a tarp. We met lots of sponsored families who were very well dressed and happy, went into a new restaurant that was opened by Gaspard (which GFR microfinanced), saw two of the beautiful houses that GFR built and we hugged lots of fat healthy babies.

But honestly, I feel frustrated. I feel angry after today’s experience. I close my eyes now and see another sea of people who are hungry, thirsty and sick. There was one particular girl who stands out in my mind… she is about 10. She has eyes that are tan with yellow and gold flecks. They stand out in her facial features. Those luscious eyes are framed with dark eye lashes that further bring her to my attention. But when I smiled at her, she did not smile back. That was unexpected… I am used to that dismantling the fear in almost every child. I don’t know if I will ever see her again, but I certainly will remember those penetrating eyes that seemed so questioning and fierce too. I passed her on the way back to the cars (a short walk away from church over two small streams). All the way back I smiled at the others who greeted me, but inside I thought of this girl who I knew braved life each day and has learned to survive… but has known little or no nurturing. And it kills me.

I want to do more! I can’t stand knowing that there are so many that need help and I feel so limited. I am sitting here on a beautiful tiled veranda with the smell of food wafting from the kitchen and there are children starving only 3 hours from here that I touched today myself. Who else will feed them if not me?? Do I have to just disconnect as I want to and think, “Oh well, I am doing all I can…”? God, what else can I do? What else Lord?

Suzanne Hosticka and Mary Germann both had holy moments today as they met with their sponsored families. They both broke down and cried. The family that Suzanne sponsored cried as well (VERY RARE HERE!). It moved everyone close by… do you know why? Because after you get here, you realize your sponsorship money is not about “helping someone out”, it is about saving their lives… and it is a rare thing in life to know that you rescued a life! A precious life, a living breathing caring human being who cares for their own family just as we care for ours. These sponsors are trophys to me! They are the symbol of all that is good about our donors. Their smiles and tears are the reward for our being alive… This is our success done in Jesus’s name!

Perhaps our crowns in heaven will be jewels that have faces in them… nothing at all like we have seen before! Maybe there will be faces carved out of diamonds and rubies in perfect images of those we have loved with all our might through our hugs or kisses, or maybe our resources or even our prayers. I want the face of that little girl with tan eyes on my crown somewhere. Help me God because you know I love her and I don’t even know how to show her.