Bound to Love

Bound to Love - part of the poem by Petrarca (Italian Poet from the late Middle Ages)

Benedetto sia 'l giorno, et 'l mese, et 'lanno,
"Oh blessed be the day the month the year,"

et la stagione, e 'l tempo, et l'ora, e 'l punto,
"the season and the time, the hour the instant,"

e 'l bel paese, e 'l loco ov'io fui guinto
"the gracious countryside, the place where I was"

da'duo begli occhi che legato m'anno;
"struck by those two lovely eyes that bound me;"

et benedetto il primo dolce affanno
"and blessed be the first agony"

ch'i' ebbi ad esser con Amor conguinto,
"I felt when I found myself bound to Love"

et l'arco, et le saette and'i' fui punto,
"The bow and all the arrows that have pierced me."

et le piaghe che 'nfin al cor mi vanno.
"The wounds that reach the bottom of my heart."

Finished my first 5K!

So excited to have finished my first race. Beat my own time by a minute each mile. So proud of myself! Treated myself to pancakes afterwards. Will be training for the reindeer run next! I am totally addicted. Also, as you can see, I got to shake Dr. Oz's hand. He was super nice. I ran even with my muscle separation on the tibia... so my sports doc says I have to take 2 weeks off my training. I wonder what my time will be when I am NOT injured!

T.S. Eliot

I read this and thought it was worth meditating on:

The Four Quartets, T.S. Eliot

To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess,
You must to by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not,
You must go through the way in which you are not.

Sometimes growing and changing is so painful. I feel all at once hopeless, frustrated and without direction. However, at the same time the process is so liberating and freeing. It is a break from the normal. There is a part of me I have accepted that is completely unsatisfied with the current situation. There is also the part of me that wants to stay comfortable. It is a constant fight to stay in discomfort so I can be something else. I don't want to stay here in complacency any longer. So now I choose ignorance, dispossession, a lack of ecstacy at times and going through a way in which I am not.