However, I have to confess, I have seen better days. This job is painful. Sometimes my stomach feels like there is a stone in it and I can’t seem to get out of the funk. Today I feel so overwhelmed by needs. I walked into the village and I was swarmed by people asking for help; this daughter has epilepsy, that son has malaria, those women have a stomach ache, those mother’s teeth are rotting. I have to say I think I know a little about what Christ felt when he walked into a new town. His reputation preceded him and people began begging for help.
It makes sense that if people see hope in me, they reach out and ask. They ask for help in such private physical things. I see when they are truly desperate, they will walk for miles. Today I met a woman who was less than 5 feet tall. Her face was etched with pain and suffering but it wasn’t for herself that she came… it was her 9 month old son who was burning up with fever. I have seen this so often here – the dreaded disease malaria. Of course, one of the team members fronted the $15 immediately for a clinic visit and medicine. I hope that little boy lives. But that was only one problem in over 50 that were brought to me in about an hours time. Talk about feeling helpless. I was totally at a loss. Many of these people needed basic care, others had life threatening diseases. I saw a 3 year old boy with a hernia, a woman with terrible ulcers, 3 children with epilepsy, 8 starving children, 1 widow with a severe back issue, 3 arthritis conditions, countless other headaches, 2 insane girls, and 1, get ready for this, hermaphrodite.
I have never felt so incapable. There is so much to do and I can’t do it alone. I don’t know if I will ever be able to do it all…. but I need to try to do something.
Jimmy
My main concern right now is Jimmy. I have never had the opportunity to meet someone in his condition. His mother was very secretive and talked in hushed tones. Apparently no one else knows that Jimmy was born with both female and male parts. He is only 11 but I can see that he has begun to develop. We gave money for him to see a specialist in the capital city, but I know he will need more for surgery. He is currently using his female parts to urinate and I don’t know if the male parts even work. What am I supposed to do about this? I am totally stumped. I know that someone may be able to donate the cost of a surgery… but what of his changed life? Will he be a boy or a girl? Can you imagine this happening in a village? I can’t tell you how terrible this is for him and the family. He will be seen as a devil and be an outcast. In this situation, there is a good chance the family will have to move to a new area and start a new life. How can I relocate an entire family?
Well, I am rambling. I will try to keep you up to date on Jimmy. Hopefully we will have things resolved before any more major developmental stages. If you remember, say a prayer for him tonight. He will need it.