Bon Voyage

Hi everyone. This is Ruth Gaa coming to you on behalf of Ben & Melody. I dropped the Pahlow family off at O'Hare Airport a few hours ago. As I write this they should be up in the wild blue yonder on the first leg of their trip. I will let Melody fill you in on the details of their excellent adventure at the airport and when they get to London for the first stop over....on to Nairobi.....
and finally Kigali Rwanda. Just thought you might like to see the family and all their luggage just before we loaded everything up.

Stay tuned for more to come...get ready for a summer filled with Melody's tales from abroad. We will all laugh with her, cry with her, pray with her and more........

God bless you all! - Ruth

My head says, "Are you kidding me"?

The count down is over. The day has arrived at last and we will be on our way tomorrow. Honestly, I am relieved. It has been dragging on for months now and the moment is finally here.

I can't tell you how many people have asked me or one of the kids the question, "Are you excited?" I don't know what to think of that question. Actually, I don't know how to respond to it. Excited? I wouldn't say that exactly. I would probably say resigned. I know that may seem unspiritual... but it is absolutely the truth. Let me explain;

I have spent 9 months preparing myself for the event. I have been to Rwanda and experienced sadness beyond my wildest imagination, felt extreme empathy that turned into self-focus, craved cheese that oozed off pizza, spent hours contemplating home under a mosquito net and closed my mouth in the shower to avoid bacterial infections. I have also spent hours arguing with politicians over care of the villagers (without seeming argumentive), I have driven 6 hours each day in a hot car filled with humans to reach the families, we spend hours on email keeping open communication between Rwanda and the states. We even host people in Rwanda and bring them along to experience poverty and trauma and then debrief them as I am debriefing myself.

I have done all this, WITHOUT kids. Therein lies the struggle. Let me just put this plainly. This is not a vacation. This is work, hard work. Heart and gut wrenching. It is something I can't say I WANT to do. I used to feel guilty for that. I don't anymore.

Lets face it... who would want to drop everything cushy in America to step into a third world country and be forced to live without Jewel/Osco, clean water, air conditioning, television, electricity, speedy internet, fast food or maybe even just freedom to travel! I haven't driven yet in Kigali. That is another huge problem. I want to go wherever I want to, whenever I want to and the bottomline is that it is not possible there. I don't know what is safe yet. I don't know how to get to a store. I am totally at the mercy of others... not my favorite place to be.

So, am I excited? No. What I do feel is some sort of agreement with God. I know that when I get there, these thoughts fade. I see the people and my own life and my feelings of self-importance shrink. There are moments I will struggle with a lack of freedom or frustration over having no hot water if the electricity goes out. But I am looking forward to getting to the place of appreciation I loose here at home. Gratitude is something that is hard to come by unless you are without. It is really odd to have all these thoughts and yet realize that they won't matter one ounce in 2 weeks. It all makes sense when we are there. It doesn't make any sense here.

I guess that is the strange thing about missions. It isn't logical. It isn't something tangible that I can explain. It isn't comfortable -- but I do it anyway. You know what, I think maybe I do want to go. There is something that draws me there. My heart is doing battle with my mind. My heart says, "Yes" and my head says, "Are you kidding me"? ....Tomorrow.... my heart will win the battle.

What does peace look like?

There are certain things that bring me comfort; the sound of my daughter's sleeping music floating up through the air vents, the sterility of a clean house, my children laughing hysterically at Tom Hanks monologue with Shelly Long in the movie "Money Pit". I can hear it now, Walter is in the floor of the den crying out... "I am so glad you are here! I have been here so long I have been halucinating! For a minute there I thought I saw the Care Bears... and then farm animals..." The kids rewind it over and over and laugh until they cry. But, I also find comfort in being with my small group at church, and getting emails from friends that just say "hi". However today I found comfort in something very unexpected. Almost strange!

Did you get an opportunity to watch American Inventor on ABC? I haven't watched the series. Amber has been keeping me up to date on the inventions and what seemed promising. Tonight I watched the finale and honestly, I cried. I feel strangely connected, as I suspect many Americans do, with Janusz Liberkowski. Janusz (pronounced Ya-noosh) is a Polish immigrant who lost his oldest daughter in a car crash because of a faulty car seat. He developed a new type of seat to protect other children. What so struck me with this man was his ease and manner of being. He seemed a truly happy person who was grateful for the opportunity, of course, but more than that, he seemed content. I have never seen a man who looked so close to tears of sadness and yet deep seated joy lurked in those smiling blue eyes as well. I realize now what it is that drew me to Janusz... it was his similarity to the people of Rwanda. I felt comforted by witnessing his life and vision, because it is the same triumph that is unfolding each day in Byumba Province, Rwanda!

Each time I am close to the people we serve there, I see both sadness and joy. It is more profound then what I understand in my life. Afterall I have seen, I admit that I spend more time thinking about clothing, malls and food than even my God who provided it all. And yet, the simple truth is that there is so much happiness in things deeper than our American materialism, goals for success and endless searches for "something more than this". When even in the depths of despair through loss of family, prostitution, homelessness, impending death from AIDS as a result of rape... the sadness that lingers in the eyes of our families can not be hidden from me. And also, joy embraces me from the same pair of yellowed eyes! They are content to eat and live free from worry about tomorrows harvest or famine... they are building lives of wholeness; spiritually, physically and mentally. And really, I can not relate to that! But I can feel some inkling of it... yes, I feel it in the core of my heart. I will never know those sorrows they have, but I can watch them transcend all of it to be someone who knows peace through poverty and provision.

My heart is full tonight. It is as close as I can be to Rwanda now. They are so far away but they feel so close in my spirit. And so, my comforter tonight came in the form of a peaceful and humble Polish man named Janusz. Thank you for reminding me that there is a way to overcome pain... thank you for showing me the face of contentment.

How is the United State?

Today I am very aware of my heart pounding hard and fast in my chest. It makes my head feel dizzy. The tears I have shed this morning I have not wiped from my face and it stings my skin. The only way I can describe my feeling is joy. The joy of building and hard work become a wall of accomplishment and I somehow feel relieved. I have always struggled with the burden of insisting on results. It is part of my nature. There are few things more rewarding then knowing the families I love so dearly are well and happy. I am also so deeply proud of the donors who never fail to support their families across the ocean. There is a shocking reaction we are experiencing in Rwanda. It is the thought that Christ followers care for those they haven't seen or met. It is the resounding message that I hear in the letters from the bush. "Who are these people that care for me and rescued me?" I am breathing in deeply and I feel a flood of fresh tears about to fall as I read some new letters that have arrived from Rwanda today from the sponsored families to their U.S. Donor. Here are just a few paragraphs from them...



From: Olive 0001
To: Anna Ricci


"Its a great joy to send this message for greeting you. With all our heart thank you so much for what you have done for us orphans. We hadn’t somebody to look after us and our lives were in danger. After getting your sponsorship every thing has changed in us. That is why this letter is for thanking you and to tell you that you have done great things. God bless you for that good action.

Dear Ricci how is your family? As orphans here in Rwanda, we ask ourselves many questions how somebody can help the people that even he doesn’t know. What kind of love!? We are not familiar with that generosity here in our country. We are sure that God alone will reward you. "


From: Frodourad 0007
To: David Ta Wei King

"This is the great moment for us to have this opportunity to send you a message, so as to thank you so much for what you have done for my family and me. Your sponsorship reaches us regularly and orderly. It has transformed our lives. Before we were about to die, but now there is the improvement in everything. We are eating well, dressing well and buying whatever we need. I tell you with all my heart that what you have done is beyond our thinking. "




From: Jean 00018
To: Brian and Sharie Behnke

"We are happy to send this letter to greet you and to tell you that your sponsorship reaches to us regularly and orderly. From it we bought many things and we are now in good situations. Our lives have been improved so much. We are no longer the poorest; on the contrary, we are now satisfying our needs day after day. We thank you for it.

My family and I are in good health (even though I am handicap for long time). We are enjoying what you have done for us. We are now in rainy season, and we are planting different seeds. As you can imagine, your support is great for us. We have used it for buying many items we needed. In our family every thing is new. We thank God for that.

My wife and I with our son and daughter love you so much, when we are together, and think about your generosity to us, we cannot understand how we were before and how we are today. There is a big difference. We say: God performed the miracles for us. Sincerely it is true, before we have nothing, but now we have many things. Finally, my family and I wish you the goodness from our Lord Jesus. "


From: Andre 00014
To: Providence

"I am pleased to have this time to write this letter for greeting you with all my family and to thank you for your aid. We tell you the truth, it was terrible at home. We had nothing, but today, we are eating well, dressing well and get every thing we need. If you should come and see what we have done from your sponsorship; you cannot imagine! It is great! So we thank you so much for your generosity to help some body like me who was nothing.

Now our lives have changed so much, there is improvement in every thing. You have done many things for us. For finishing my message, I wish you the happiness from our Lord Jesus. God bless you in your entire project and in all things you do. "


From: Alphonse 00033
To: Sarah Condiff

"How are you today? For us we are fine and the purpose of this letter is to thank you for your sponsorship that has many things in our lives. We have been transformed by your help, now we can eat, dress, get the medicines and so on…it has been a miracle for us. We thank God for your support.

The children are: Tuyishhimire Mary Rose with 8 years old, Maniraguha who is 5 years old and Merika who is 1 year old.

My family and I think always about you because of your generosity to us, we cannot forget you. We imagine how you love the persons you don’t know. The heart you have is the heart of a real Christian. God continue to be with you. "


From: Donatien 00011
To: Michael Strominger

"My family and I are pleased to send this message greeting warmly and thank you so much for your sponsorship. We receive it regularly and it has changed our living. Without it our condition of life was miserable. We thank you so much for you help.


My family and I love you so much, we were very poor but now we are buying whatever we want. It means that we depend on you. Now we are eating well and dressing well we are now beautiful because of you.

How is United State? For us we are fine and we are thanking God for what God is doing in our lives. My children are studying well they have uniforms and all school materials. It is great for me.

I think that God will continue to bless me through you. I was about to die but now I am well. I cannot express how your sponsorship has been very important to us."


...And now I ask you... How is the United State? :) Ben & I have such deep affection for the people that are supporting this mission! You are transforming the world, one family at a time! Praise God for all of your love and sacrifices... you are deeply loved, by Ben & I, God and over 1,000 people that know there is a God after all!