Monday, January 31, 2011

Can't do my hair like this in Africa!

We have been doing a lot of planning for our trip back to Africa.  I am looking forward to serving the people, finding and helping the poor and sick and sharing how much Jesus loves them.  I took this picture last week and realized there are a few things I will definitely miss... a hot shower, blow drying my hair, knowing there is a doctor right around every corner just in case and even having clean clothes.  There is just so much mud and dust everywhere it permeates each pore!  Trusting God for it all....

Friday, January 21, 2011

I can do all things

Tonight I hit a milestone... I ran 4 miles. I didn't think it was possible. I really didn't... When Ben got home from boot camp 20 years ago he took me on a run and I literally pooped out at 1 block! And I was 21 years old... in the prime of my life!

I feel really good about it. But as I was driving home I realized that I was quite somber instead of celebratory. I tried to pin point why I was feeling so serious. It came to me that I had prayed for God to help me through the last mile. Actually, it was the hardest thing I have done in a really long time. My legs felt like they were on fire but I just kept saying, "God please help me, please help me finish".

It reminded me of all the times in life that I said, "I can't do this". There are many times that my mind tells me to just give up. I can't even count how much I hear the word "failure" throughout my day. I don't know if I am just abnormally sensitive but I definitely feel a sense of dread when I have to face difficult things. Struggle is part of life but I think I have expected it to come easier. Somehow I thought if I just did the right things, prayed, went to church and said, "I love you" to my family everyday that life would just be a bowl of cherries. Boy, I was wrong.

Life is painful sometimes... sometimes it feels like I can't go on. Sometimes it feels like I want to run and hide. But tonight God showed me something amazing. He showed me that he could help me endure something I didn't think was possible. It was that moment in the quiet of the car that I realized God was saying, "You can do all things through Me because I strengthen you." It is true. Well, at least it is truer now than it was yesterday. I can do more than I thought possible.