Forward

I feel nervous today. I am preparing for my race... the first race of my life. I didn't know running could be so all engrossing. It feels like I am becoming more and more addicted to the adrenaline rush. I am surpassing my goals, going further, getting faster. I believe I am a runner. As my friends Ken and Val say, I have tasted the purple koolaid :)

Ben asked me yesterday, "Why do you run"? I didn't really know how to answer that. There are lots of reasons; health, stress relief, anger management, etc. Those would be typical reasons. However, I believe the one thing that keeps me going is the forward motion. When I run and my mind goes to that wonderful zen place, I know I am moving ahead -- forward and not back. I want to run and never look back. I sense that there is more ahead of me than behind. I don't believe in staying in one place anymore. I won't be complacent. I won't be trapped. I won't be stagnant. I will choose my future and chase after it. Running is a physical representation of my new committment to my future; healthy, strong, confident, take charge. Whatever it is God has for me I want to be ready.

My husband, my sister, my brother in law and my daughter are all inspired to become more physically active. I am so glad. When we are physically healthy then other areas of our life become more clear and focused too. It's good all the way around. I feel changed and new...So what is the next aspect of my life that God wants transform?

Fall colors trip

Pictures from our annual fall colors trip to Wisconsin! So fun!

Ben waiting for the waves on Lake Michigan

Being silly

Looking at my favorite tree...so many colors!


Love Lake Michigan!

Looking over the river

Dinner -- so delicious!

Standing on a rock..

We laughed all day!

Here is my favorite tree

Getting ready for a romantic dinner

Picking leaves off my favorite tree

Making Ben laugh is my hobby!

Whew! Needed a break! That was a fun ride!

Alive

This picture is Ben and I at my dad's 80th birthday party. My running is really paying off!

Today I ran and beat my best time by 25 seconds. I feel stronger, faster and ready for a race. I was smiling through the run and I actually laughed when I hit my stride. The sunshine is brighter now and God seems to be sending me a message with each and every step I take. He loves me. He isn't angry. He wants me and I am the only girl in the world to Him. I was listening to P.O.D. during my last mile and the song "Alive" seemed to be the words I was singing from the heart. Here are some of them:

Everyday is a new day

I'm thank ful for

Every breath I take

I won't take it for granted

And I learn from my mistakes

It's beyond my control

Sometimes its best to let go

Whatever happens in the lifetime

So I trust in love, so I trust in love

You have given me peace of mind

I, I feel so alive

For the very first time

And I can't deny you

I feel so alive

I, I feel so alive

For the very first time

And I think I could fly

I love when God speaks to me like this. It feels right. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden I can only imagine how devastating it must have been to suddenly have to hide from God's presence. I am made to live in His light and not in the darkness of doubt and self hatred. Without Him I would not be able to connect to anything or anyone.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. This is my favorite prayer right now and it feels so good to realize there are things I can't change and will never be able to but God accepts me just as I am. He made a way for me and I am at peace.